A blog about women dealing with men, relationships, dating and all aspects of life from Venus’s point of view.
Watch TV Get Fit
Feb 16th
Do this workout three times a week for six weeks and you’ll drop a dress size (without missing a single episode of CSI or The Ellen Show!). By Mars N Venus… Actually.
Sounds too good to be true, but it works! We got a workout that enables you to tone your body to perfection in the comfort of your own living room. And because watching your favorite program is an important part of this workout, you’ll be distracted from any of the usual exercise discomfort. So now you can be slim and sexy (not to mention healthy!) without missing any of your favorite shows – this won’t work if you scoff packets of chocolate biscuits in between, of course.
The Preparation Kit
Carefully study the TV guide for a 30-minute program you like. Just before it’s about to start, put on some comfortable, loose clothes that you can move around in easily. Clear a space on the floor. Push the sofa away from the wall so that you can get behind it, and keep a pile of cushions nearby.
The Warm-Up Bit
When the TV show’s intro music kicks in, start warming up. March briskly on the spot for 30 seconds.
The Stretching Bit
Stretch 1
In a standing position, take a deep breath and stretch up towards the ceiling with both arms, then exhale as you relax your arms down again. Repeat four times.
Stretch 2
Reach up towards the ceiling with one arm and slowly bend over sideways towards the side of the resting arm, until you feel a stretch through the side of your body. Repeat twice on each side.
Stretch 3
While keeping your upper body facing forward so you can see the screen, and your arms outstretched, walk your feet round to the right so the side faces the screen and you are twisting at the waist. Repeat four times, to the right and left.
Stretch 4
Keeping your legs straight, rise up and down on your toes, lifting your heels off the floor. Repeat 12 times.
Stretch 5
Circle your shoulders four times forwards and four times backwards. Do the same with your arms, windmilling them four times forwards and four times backwards.
The Work It, Work It, Work It Bit
You can follow this sequence of simple exercises and work your muscles without missing a dramatic twist or hilarious punchline. Try to do 20 repetitions of each exercise. If you can’t imagine 20 when you first start doing these routines, do as many as you can and build up by one or two each time you do the workout. If you get carried away with the show’s plot and forget to count, stop when your muscles ache or when two minutes have passed. As you get faster, try to do a circuit of these exercises before the ad break, then repeat them in the second half.
Slow Squats
Stand just in front of the sofa, legs slightly apart and feet pointing towards the TV and very slowly sit until your bottom just touches the seat (but before you put any weight on the cushion), the slowly stand up. Make sure your knees bend in line with your feet.
Bunny Hops
Start in the same position as for the push-ups. While pushing away from the sofa back, straighten your arms and jump, keeping hold of the sofa. As you land, bend both knees. Try to stay in the air as long as possible and land quietly.
Side bends
Lie on the floor on your side. Stretch your bottom out on the floor in front of you at a right angle to your body, and bend the underneath leg so it’s at a right angle to your body, with your knee forward. Keep your top leg straight and put your top hand to your temple like a salute. Take a deep breath and, as you exhale, pull your tummy in, press down on the floor with the lower arm and curl up sideways at the waist, just a little. Breathe in and relax onto the floor. Remember to do the other side.
The Bit During The Ads
Grab a drink of water, stretch out a little and, if you’re feeling energetic, run upstairs or jog on the spot. Stay moving and resist the temptation to flop on the couch.
The Bit Where You Go For The Burn
Do 10-1 repetitions of these moves.
Directory squat lifts
Start in a squat position (knees bent, back straight, leaning forward as if you’re lowering yourself onto a chair). Hold two directories out in front of you. As you breathe out, stand up straight and raise the books over your head with straight arms. Try to make it all one smooth movement, so that everything happens together and the body feels stretched all the way from your toes up to your fingers. Caution: don’t let your lower back arch as you straighten up. Breathe in and return to the beginning squat position.
Pelvic tilts
Lie down on the floor on your back, with a few cushions propped under your head so that you can still keep watching the TV. Take a deep breath and, as you exhale, pull the lower stomach towards the floor and tilt the pelvis (as if it is a bowl and you’re tipping it towards your stomach). Hold for 10 seconds before you release.
The winding-down bit
Stretch out
As the credit rolls, streeeetch. Repeat the stretches from the start of the workout, holding each for 20 seconds, then add these stretches (remembering to do both legs).
Stretch 1
Stand, holding on to a stationary object for support, then grasp the ankle of one leg and bend the knee back, keeping the other leg bent slightly. Draw your heel towards your bum while keeping your hips forward – you will feel the thigh stretch.
Stretch 2
Sit down on the sofa and stretch one leg out straight in front of you. Stick your bottom out so your back arches, then lean forward until you feel the back of the leg stretching. Slowly flex the foot to take the stretch down to the calf.
Stretch 3
Stand up and link your hands behind you and pull them up to lift your chest up. Then bring your arms in front of you, link your hands and reach forward, rounding the upper back and dropping the head. Now grab a drink of water and relax – you deserve it!
Note: Push Ups
Make sure the sofa can’t move if pushed, then stand behind it and rest your hands on the back, shoulder-width apart. Keep your arms straight. Take a step back, lift your heels off the floor and lean forwards so that your body weight is supported through your arms. While keeping your back perfectly straight and still, breathe in and bend your elbows to lower your chest towards the sofa back. Exhale as you straighten your arms and push yourself away.
Note: Crunches
You need to be near a coffee table or a foot rest for this one. Lie on your back and place the balls of your feet gently on the low surface, bending your knees slightly. With your arms reaching forwards, breathe out and curl your head and shoulders off the floor keeping a good grip on the coffee table or foot rest. Make sure you draw your chin into the chest as you curl up.
Spa Style
Feb 2nd
There’s nothing more heavenly after a hard day than to lie back while expert, caring hands knead you into a deep slumber. Welcome to beauty’s favourite new oasis: the spa.
Spa is a word that conjures many different images. To some, the word inspires visions of a medicinal spring. The more geographically-inclined probably think of a particular town in Belgium. Others consider it a posh way of saying “beauty salon”. While party animals imagine a frothing tub filled with giggling, bikini-clad girls… To set the record straight, a spa – in the modern sense of the word – is a wellness centre that offers treatments and, often, feel-good facilities to clients. Treatments include the holistic (massages, body wraps, essential oils, hydrotherapy) as well as the aesthetic (beautifying treats like hair services, facials, pedicures, weight-loss procedures). Facilities may include Swiss showers, heated jacuzzis, luxurious steam baths. Feeling all tensed up at work? Book yourself into a spa and get yourself pampered into a relaxed puddle by expert hands. Trust me. There’s nothing quite like it. There’s no denying the growing appeal of spas worldwide. Southeast Asia, in particular, is getting the hang of it. Sure, it’s an indulgence, and most of us have bills to pay. But with the increasing level of work stress, and the wide choice of treatment centers peppered around, “spa-ing” is set to become a way of life for us. No clue what it’s all about? We cut through the jargon to tell you all you need to know about spas before you embark on your first visit.
Day spa or destination spa?
A destination spa is one that’s located in a resort or hotel, where you can get away for a short retreat and focus on pampering and rejuvenation. A day spa provides an urban escape for those who can only spare a few hours. Plan a vacation around a destination spa like the Banyan Tree in the Maldives, or The Chedi in Bali for an all-out, full-on blissful retreat. Whereas day spas can be incorporated into your day-to-day lifestyle. Pick a date every month or two as your pampering day, and check yourself into a day spa. You’ll emerge fresh and recharged, ready to face the world for the next few months.
Wind up, wind down
Don’t just zip in and out of the spa for your treatments. Relax in the tranquil surroundings. Some spas offer free use of their facilities for clients. Other charge a nominal fee. My advice? If they charge, pay up and get the full spa experience. You’ll be twice as recharged than if you just had treatments alone. Check in an hour before your schedule appointment, hit the shower, get changed (bring your swimming cozzie) and head towards the hot jacuzzi. Relax there as long as you want (20 minutes is about enough), then head to the steam room. Spas are starting to incorporate essential oils in their steam baths. They smell great, and are fab for your skin too. But if you have sensitive skin, or any other allergies, do check with your therapist about what oils are pumped in with the steam. Hit the showers again to splash away the sweat from your steam bath (it’s a room full of steam that includes sweat, not a real bath-type, mind). Wrap up nice and toasty in the bathrobe provided, and unwind in the relaxation lounge while you wait for the therapist to come for you.
Extend the spa experience
Many spas use their own brand of skincare, bodycare and cosmetics. One way to prolong the soothing effects of your spa visit is to buy the products that were used on you (your personal therapist will be more than happy to help you pick these out) and do your own homecare. If you’ve had a facial and like how the products feel on your skin, buy the complete range of skincare (cleanser, toner, moisturizer, mask). If it was an aromatic message, get the body lotion version of the oils used in your treatment. Burning the essential oils in your room would also bring about a similar sense of euphoria as you experienced in the spa. Spas like Angsana Spa, Estheva and St Gregory all offer home-care versions of their products for purchase at their spa shops.
A dummy’s guide to spa treatments
Besides the essential massage, try the other skin-pampering treats that will have you positively floating out of there with velvety-smooth skin and a detoxed body. Start with a body glow; a full-bodied scrub where the therapist slathers your shoulders to the soles of your feet with your choice of scrubs (anything from a sea-salt to mint-tinted granules to yummy smelling strawberry) and gives you the ultimate rub-down. This prepares the skin for a nourishing body wrap (seaweed and mud are popular for their moisturizing properties, ginger ups circulation, while crushed grapeseed detoxifies and has rich anti-oxidants). Hydrotherapy sounds intimidating, but it’s just a name for water jets that help in blood circulation and slimming. Ask away during your consultation session, and the spa staff will be happy to recommend the right treatments for you.
Before the spa
Forget about cramming in that plate of spaghetti before rushing off for your appointment or you’ll feet uncomfortably bloated throughout your session. But don’t arrive hungry either, unless you want your therapist to hear your growling tummy throughout. Have something to eat at least an hour before your treatment. And keep it light, such as a fresh salad or tuna sandwich. If you’re having an exfoliating body scrub, avoid scuffing yourself for the few days leading to your appointment. If it’s a massage you’re having, skip the body moisturizer before leaving the house. It’s common spa etiquette to have a shower at home first, if all you’re having is a massage. Most spas don’t factor in time for you to shower there and then, so go squeaky clean.
Massages
The highlight of any spa trip, massages can be invigorating, relaxing, anti-stress and soothing (for tired muscles). The most common schools of massage are the Swedish, Shiatsu, Aromatic, Lomi Lomi, Indonesian and Thai. Every spa usually has their own unique signature massage. Try that out if it’s your first visit. It’s usually the best.
Swedish: Light, yet deep strokes are used to improve blood circulation, reduce tension and soothe sore muscles. This highly relaxing massage often lulls you into a state of peaceful slumber.
Shiatsu: The release of trapped energy in the 14 body meridians (a belief subscribed to by the school of shiatsu medicine) and the restoration of balance and well-being are achieved with finger-thumb pressure. This is a cross between acupuncture and massage.
Aromatic: Different essential oils are blended to the specific needs of clients, to induce different therapeutic benefits. Ylang ylang to balance raging hormones, citrus oils to energize, lavender and chamomile to soothe.
Lomi Lomi: A sensual Hawaiian massage that involves rhythmic kneading and sliding strokes to relax. Fingertips are used to knead, while the entire lower arm slides soothingly across the back and legs.
Spa etiquette
» Show up at least 15 to 20 minutes early for your appointment. There’s nothing worse than being late, it causes later clients to have to wait because your treatment ends later than planned. Also, you’ll need the extra time to change out of your clothes, rinse under the showers, warm up in the sauna or steam room, or anything to clear your head before the treatment.
» Give yourself ample time to enjoy the benefits of your spa visit. Forget about planning something else right after your visit. You’ll need some winding down time, as well as time to perhaps shower, have some time and even try out the jacuzzi or sauna facilities.
» You’re expected to remove your shoes and wear the slippers, provided. It’s simply rude not to wear them.
» If there’s something you want to know or if you’re uncomfortable with something at any time that you’re on the premises, ask! It never hurts to find out if you can get an outdoor massage pavilion, or if you could use the sauna before your treatment.
» Remember that trained spa therapists see hundreds or even thousands of body types and sizes. Be prepared to relax au naturel. You’ll never enjoy the full relaxing effects of a spa if you’re feeling so self-conscious.
» Do tip therapists at destination spas in countries like Indonesia and Thailand. It’a always a nice gesture, and you’ll be sure to get even better service for your next treatment.
» Leave your cell phone and pager behind. The purpose of a trip to the spa is to relax and rejuvenate, not to get a massage while you think about tomorrow’s presentation.
Be A Beach Babe
Jan 19th
Blame it on bikini-clad Ursula Andress. When she emerged from the sea in the 007-classic Dr No, the image of the modern beach babe was born. But real-life beach beauties aren’t born, they’re made. The only catch? Making the effort look effortless. Sail through summer with Mars And Venus…Actually’s tips for seaside glamour.
A lot of hot air
Think beachside hair and you picture tousled, rippling locks. It’s not about a perfectly in-place low-dry – not only does this look too “done”, it simply takes too long. After all, when the sun is shining, the sea sparkling and the beach is beckoning, do you really want to be wasting time in the bathroom, lasting yourself with hot air and doing a contortion with your hairdryer and brush? Save the effort for work days. All you need for beach-ready hair is to comb a leave-in sunscreen treatment through towel-dried hair, and let the natural summer heat do its work.
Cutting loose
Ponytails, pigtails, plaits … the beach is where you can get away with all your favorite girly Gidhet hairstyles. Make the most of it and decorate your ‘dos with real or artificial tropical blooms. Or try out the Gucci look – a long scarf tied kerchief-style at the back of the head.
Love your hair to health
It’s all too easy for tresses to wind up looking like a tangled of shrivelled seaweed by the end of the beach season. Unless you have a beach-specific hair strategy, the sun, the salt and sand will all take their toll. If you colour your hair, comb in a shield alm or oil before taking the plunge – it’s like an invisible bathing cap. At tne end of the day in the sea, wash your hair with a deep cleansing shampoo. For an additional lift, try a post-sun conditioner. Finally, nourish locks with an intensive treatment once a week.
Mermaid temp-tresses
You know those sexy Blue Lagoon locks? That just-been-rolling-in-the-waves-with-a-dream-boy effect? Yes, it looks amazingly sultry, but if he tries to run his fingers through your salty mane, he’ll encounter hardly enough snarls to make you howl in pain. Hardly romantic! A better way to get the sexy sea-goddess look? Kusco-Murphy Beach Hair is a light gel blended with crushed bamboo, bergamot and coconut oil, and gives your locks a tousled, carefree look – plus, it smells tantalisingly tropical. Hair stylist Kevin Murphy was inspired to concoct it after working on a Sports Illustrated shoot: sand blew into the hair gel, which gave the model’s locks extra texture and body.
Beauty in the buff
Layers of make-up won’t stick it out in the heat, so stick to sheer coverage. A facial self-tanner is perfect if you normally get away with minimal foundation. If you need more help, add a dollop or two of liquid foundation to your facial sunscreen. Spot cover any blemishes and set the concealer with powder. Choose a lip-cheek-eye stick or cream in a warm shade (bronze or gold), dab on lips, lids and cheeks and press in with your fingers.
Evening star
How to make the most of that all-over-fake tan? Mix some shimmer into your sunscreen and coat yourself from head to toe. Try Anna Sui Body Glitter #701. It looks tres St Tropez, plut is sets off that hot pink bikini! At night, turn up the voltage. Keep the face subtle – dust on glimmer powder, smooth on a high-sheen tint.
Surf skin saver
What’s your number-one summer skin saviour? Loads of sunscreen, of course; slather it on when you know you’ll be exposed to the sun. But you also need to be extra dilligent with your regular routine as well. If you suffer from excess grease, don’t skip the moisturiser (even oily complexions get dehydrated) – just swap to a lighter, gel-based or oil-control lotion, or apply your cream just to dry skin spots. You may also need to use an oil or acne-control cleansing foam to keep over-active sebaceous glands in check and exfoliate once a week. If you have an excess-oil problem, pack on a purifying mask twice a week, while all skins benefit from a weekly hydrating treatment.
Tequila sunrise
Lip glosses and cheek tints in coral shades, nail polishes in daiquiri colours, eye-shadows in curacao blue and Midori green … If you want to make a splash with summer’s technicolour make-up, the each is your perfect backdrop. The key: pick one shade and one facial feature only. You want a single wash of colour on an almost bare face. Coat your lids in blue or green, load up your lids with coral or hot-pink, or slick your nails (be sure to splurge on a manicure and pedicure at the start of a sunny season) in a shade that’s between yellow or orange.
Gyno Anxiety
Jan 6th
A regular PAP smear is a good start, but really looking after yuor body requires more intimate knowledge. If you’ve been guilty of complacency about your reproductive health, stop cringing, uncross those legs and read on…
Below The Belt
Scan any office, bus or shop and you’ll see women going about their daily business. Outwardly, all look normal but, inside, those women could be itching like mad with thrush, growing cysts on their ovaries or harbouring a lump in their breasts. These are “women’s problems”, usually discussed in hushed tones with eyes downcast. Well, not here. We’re talking loud and proud about the things that can go wrong with your “girlie bits”, so you’ll be able to recognise if a problem strikes – and take action. Here’s a guide through the maze of problems that affect the health of those body parts specific to women – the vagina, cervix, uterus, ovaries and breasts. Any one of us could be affected, at any time. Yep, that includes you. So read on.
Thrush
What is it?
Basically, a thrush is an overgrown yeast fungus. Candida albicans is a fungus present in small amounts on your skin and in your mouth, bowel and vagina. Usually, your body’s defences keep it in check, but sometimes circumstances allow it to flourish and it starts to attack the tissue under it, causing inflammation – that is candidiasis or thrush. Factors include stress, taking the Pill, antibiotics, a high intake of alcohol, sugar and caffeine (especially in recurring thrush) and hot sweatiness around the vagina (often caused by tight pants and synthetic undies).
What does it feel like?
In a word, itchy. It causes an intense itching or burning around your vagina and vulva, accompanied by a discharge that’s often described as looking like cottage cheese, but can also be thin and clear. Some say it smells like bread or beer.
What can I do about it?
Thrush is diagnosed by examination and sometimes a swab (to identify the yeast). You must have it diagnosed by a doctor, especially the first time, as there are other infections, such as bacterial and urinary tract infections, that can affect the area and produce a similar sensation. Treatment is via creams, pessaries and sometimes even oral treatments. You’d probably also be advised to wear cotton underwear, avoid soaps and perfumes, wash the area regularly, wipe your anus from front to back and use a condom when infected. If you have chronic thrush, try to change to an appropriate diet; taking lots of sugar and wine will increase candida’s recurrence. Try eating acidophilus bacteria, which are found in some yoghurts or in tablets from health food stores. They should help clear it up.
Fibroids
What are they?
Fibroids are benign (non-cancerous) tumours that grow in the wall of the uterus. They are made up of muscle and fibrous tissue. One in five women has fibroids, but as firboids are often symptoms-free, you could be that one-in-five and not even know it. No-one knows what causes them, but their growth seems to depend on the presence of hormones, mainly oestrogen. There are fibroids on record that weigh 10kg, which you can feel because as they grow, they enlarge and distort the uterus and can often be felt by pressing on the area. Fibroids are rare in women under 25.
What do they feel like?
Usually, you won’t feel a thing – but they can cause heavy periods or bleeding after sex and between periods. They may intefere with fertility by projecting into the uterus cvausing miscarriage or premature delivery, but this is not common.
What can I do about them?
Treatment depends on fibroid size and whether the woman wants to keep her uterus. If you’re 45, have had your babies and are sick of heavy periods, you may choose a hysterectomy. If you’re 25, however, and the fibroids are thought to be interfering with your fertility, they may just cut out the fibroid. A naturopath will prescribe herbs to help regulate bleeding and to reduce fibroid size. You can also use dietary changes to control oestrogen levels, such as eating more soya products, increasing your protein intake and eating more vegetables from the cabbage family.
PMS
Short of beating your boyfriend with a rolled-up printable version of Mars & Venus… Actually, finding relief from PMS can be a bitch. The most common symptoms include a bloated abdomen, swollen, tender breasts and “mood changes”. Add to this swollen ankles, skin disorders, headaches, backaches and hot flushes and it’s no wonder that women who suffer badly from PMS may also be irritable, anxious, depressed or aggressive. Mainstream medical treatments include taking the Pill, using diuretics to help eliminate fluids from the body and taking supplementary vitamins, including B6 and B1. A healthy diet and lots of exercise are also highly recommended. Evening primrose oil, often suggested as a natural cure for PMS, is only suitable for mild cases while visiting a naturopath may provide more relief.
Ovarian Cysts
What are they?
There are many different types of ovarian cysts. The most common are physiological cysts, also known as “simple” or “functional” cysts, because they form as part of normal ovarian processes. There are two types of simple cysts: follicular cysts, which form when an ovarian follicle (egg sac) doesn’t release its ovum (egg) and fills up with clear fluid; and luteal cysts, which form in ruptured follicles and are more likely to cause spotting, heavy bleeding or early/late periods. Both follicular and luteal cysts usually disppear on their own. With polycystic ovarian syndrome, lots of little cysts form all over the ovary’s surface. The first signs of the condition include heavy bleeding and irregular periods and, over time, these cysts can affect fertility. This condition is generally treated hormonally. Other benign cysts include hormone-producing cysts, serous and mucinous cystadenomas, fibromas and Brenner tumours. Most of these should be surgically removed once discovered. In all cases, irregularities in your periods are the giveaway.
What do they feel like?
Generally, you won’t notice an ovarian cyst. If it ruptures, however, it may cause pain, often on one side only. Pain during sex can also be a warning sign of cysts, as can a “bloated” or heavy feeling in the lower abdomen.
What can I do about them?
Treatment depends on what it looks like on the ultrasound – how big they are, whether it’s a ’simple’ cyst or a ‘complex’ cyst, which can be malignant and usually needs to be removed. Ovarian cysts are usually considered to be a result of some abnormal tissue development. If there’s even the smallest possibility that a cyst might be dangerous, surgery is a definite must.
From the totally weird file
There’s a type of ovarian cyst, called a dermoid cyst, which forms when an egg begins to develop in a very abnormal way. So? Well, these cysts can be made up of all sorts of bizarre things, including hair, teeth, bones and skin fragments. This is because the cells that have gone mad are the ones that have the potential to create the different types of tissues normally found in your body. These cysts are best removed surgically – after all, who wants a set of teeth in their ovary?
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